"Togetherness" Brings Smell To Main Street
By Hooligan 2
Residents along Main Street experienced a ghastly smell this afternoon. The source of the smell remains unknown. In addition to the odor at least two huts were completely destroyed and another five received significant damage. There were additional reports of injured village children who were participating in a Stranger Danger class. Witness reports are confused and frankly, crazy.
Kerizeen Hag, sister of the local school marm, Old Mrs Hag, said that the destruction was the result of an accident caused by the Smack Bigilty Crunch Bush affectionately known as Mankiller. Mankiller's real name, according to Deputy Constable Pudge Pudden, is Poopsie. Mankiller also goes by the alias Man Killer Bush From Another Planet as well as Death In The Form Of Leaves, Thorns and Fangs. "Mankiller crushed those huts in an effort to escape a dastardly attack by the female hussy mammoth, Lilith. Lilith assaulted Mankiller with toddlers, who was innocently strolling down Main Street."
However, Kerizeen's account was contradicted by several witnesses who said the Smack Big seen fleeing into the woods after the attack looked nothing like Mankiller. "I haz seen dat der Mankiller Bush." Reported local music legend, The Big Thumper. "This smack big was small. And bald. And I zink ee wuz cwying."
Another witness, local dance champion Hopscoth Kitty Puss, reported that there was indeed fight between Mankiller and Lilith, but it was Lilith that was the victim. "That villain Mankiller wanted to eat that mammoth. She was saved by a mysterious pair of super heroes who flew down out of the sky and fought off that bush."
When asked what a "super hero" was, Hopscotch said to go ask The Ugga.
"Mank nev bin prob for me." Chief Watermellon Spitter protested. "That Mam Lil she be the prob."
Lilith's grandmother Madame Maude was also present but reports that she did not see a thing as her back was turned.
The source of the smell is still being investigated.
One fact that all witnesses agreed upon was that the incident was at least partially to blame on The Ugga, who was performing what they referred to as "Togetherness" experiments. Asked for comment The Ugga declined, stating only "Ugga". Which of course in Ugga means "Yes I was working on Togetherness. No I will not tell you what that is. So there. Nee Ner Nee Ner."
Mouthy Mammoth Mountain was until recently called Big Rocky Thing. Big Rocky Thing was renamed after the recent Mammoth Made Massacare at the Muddle Puddle. Since that incident, in which an undetermined number of residents perished, Mikey the Militant Mammoth Mobster and his miniions have been launching curse laden tirades against the village residents, thus prompting the name change.