CRITTERS: Helena the Hieney Honey of Huntman


Name: Helena Bella Cinderella
Locaton of Origin: Amazonian Village of Blonde Bomshells
Hair: Perfectly Golden Eyes: Capri Sea Blue
Occupation: Homemaker and Teacher
Favorite Food: BBQ Caribou Ribs and Fried Potatoes
Favorite Quote: It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. –Ann Landers
Born Upchucka Galanthiport, this beauty was a member of the tribe of Amazonian Blonde Bombshells. The hygiene challenged Huntmen often raided the village but were never able to do more than get their highly hairy heineys whipped each time. First, the tribe smelled them coming literally miles away. Second, as powerful as the Huntmen were as warriors they could not compete with these powerful warrior women. Each time the smell of dead whale flesh descended on the village the ladies would perform their famous Can Can routine. By the second high kick the Huntmen had fainted dead away. Invariably the huntmen would awake back at their own village, shaved of their hair and dolled up to look like Disney princesses. Helena’s capture was called a “capture” to enhance the Hunman image, but really she approached them before a raid and pleaded with them to take her captive if only they would change her name to something more attractive than Upchucka Galanthriport.