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CRITTERS: Monte

Ugga
Stinky Stella
Old Mrs. Hag
Chief Waternelon Spitter
Lilith
Mankiller
Pudden Pudden
Helena The Hieney Honey Of Huntman

 

Name: Monte

Locaton of Origin: A small canyon near modern Amarillo, Tx

Hair: Blonde             Eyes: Bright Beautiful Blue

Occupation: Technical Whiz and Sometime Superhero

Favorite Food: Tacos

Favorite Quote: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. 

                                                                                          –Robert Frost

I do things.  Many things.  Many different things.  Renaissance cave boy,  that's me.   I dance, even when I am begged to stop.  I solve high tech problems.  I write.  I hunt to feed my family.  I strip down naked, slather myself in sap and chase down pre-historic villains with a giant hairless mole - and I like it.

And I invent.  I stand side by side with Ugga and invent things.  Great things like whistling, snot bubbling, killing two birds with one stone (metaphorically) and getting in out of the rain.  

I also cook.  I am a great cook.  I make great gumbo.  I invented gumbo.  I make great grilled cheese sandwiches.  I invented grilled cheese sandwiches.  I didn't invent cheese but I did invent sliced cheese.  I am not responsible for inventing cutting cheese.  Maude invented cutting cheese.  I make the world's greatest tacos.  In the grand scheme of things ... oh, I did not invent the grand scheme of things.  God did that.  Thank you, God.  In the grand scheme of things when it comes to cooking, great tacos are all that matters.  I didn't invent tacos, but I wish I had.  Still, I make the world's greatest tacos.

Speaking of tacos, they are the world's most perfect food.  It's not pizza.  It's not lasagna.  It is not even New York style cheesecake with strawberries and shaved dark Swiss chocolate.  It is tacos.

Doubt me?  Consider the construction of the classic Tex-Mex Taco.

Start with the crunchy, sweet, heavenly hard taco corn shell.

Stuff it one third full with hot and steaming, spicy, chewy taco meat.  

Stack another third with deliciously chilled, crunchy and sweet, shredded lettuce.

On top of this add a layer of tiny chopped, juice filled, sharp and fruity tomatoes.

Add a healthy layer of cold, sharp, smooth shreds of the finest cheddar cheese.

Finally, over the top of the shell add your chilled, super spicy, onion-y, jalapeno-y, chunky but saucy salsa.

Read through that again and think about this.  The radical swing of textures and flavors all come together in every bite.  Not like a pasta or a pizza or a stir fry, where things are cooked so they blend into a single flavor and common texture.  Hearty, meaty, crispy, hot, cold, smooth and juicy are all distinguishable.  It is Beethoven's Symphony Erotica in your mouth.

Booyah!  Can't touch that.  Greatest food ever!

Every flavor coming together in a distinct but complimentary mesh of glory - a lot like the Universe of Ugga.