The Books
Uggalot is based on books by Monte "The Caveman" Turner. He wrote them because they were a necessary expose on history.
Young love is brutal. School sucks. So why did my best friend, Ugga, choose to invent both of them?
The answer is funny and exciting and every upright, two-legged human type should want to read about it. It is true I spent much of my youth knocking heads with toothy dinosaurs, saber tooth kitty cats and man-eating birds. None of that prepared me for surviving my teenage years. Collecting battle scars and inventing ways to pass the time was sweet until those demonic creatures showed up. They were beasts that Ugga named ‘girls’. There was no returning to the simple pleasure of survival.
This the story of myself and my best friend, the greatest genius of all times (GGOAT). We were prehistoric hooligans. We have so much to answer for. Like Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, Ugga and I can find adventure and laughs in the simple act of survival while teenage girls just seem to get in the way.
Mark Cain, author of the hilarious “Circles In Hell” series, says that when you read my tale of teenage romance “be prepared for over-the-top silliness, along with a fair share of dinosaurs and Ice Age mammals, not to mention science that has been knocked completely on its head.”
As I told my children “Prehistoric truth is not always convenient or fun, and it usually leaves scars. But I saw what I saw and I know what I know.”
My childhood was simply irreverent, riotous and hilarious, with slightly inappropriate laugh out loud moments like you would find in Diary of a Whimpy Kid. Look Inside and see!
Teen LOVE can be really stupid. Prehistoric teen love is the worst. Here is how I see prehistoric teenage love. It stinks - literally. It causes smelly teenage girls to endlessly annoy innocent cave boys. My best friend, Ugga, invented it and then he broke it. His attempt to fix prehistoric teenage love caused the invention of monsters and caused a war. Only his fortuitous friendship with me saved the day. Oh, and I almost got eaten, like, a hundred times.My name is Monte and my life began a long, long time ago. Cave days. My friend, Ugga, invented inventing and other amazing … and sometimes stupid stuff. When his love life with Stinky Stella hit the wall, he decided he had to take me on an idiotic journey into impossible and scary lands to find a relationship-saving gift. We got the gift. I should mention here that the adventure caused Ugga to be cursed and made us all sorts of big bad enemies. Which means we had to go on another journey putting even more of our pack of friends in danger. All for the sake of Ugga's love for the daughter of the local manure magnate. Time for me to save the day … AGAIN! I was a heck of a friend, wasn't I?As I share my tales with you and my family like I did in "He Said Ugga She Said Grrr", you will meet dinosaurs, mammoths, saber cats, and man-eating chicken flamingos. And those are the "normal" neighbors. Spice things up with giant spitting bats a secret society of warrior moles and a talent, giant rose bush that hands out dangerous love hugs and things interesting. As Tolkien reshaped your understanding of Middle Earth with the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, my tales will reshape your understanding of prehistory. These tales from my long distant childhood can be funny, sad and exhilarating. Bring a big ice cold soda pop and a huge bag of Cheetos. Once you begin, you won't want to put it down.
